Looking Backward Before We Step Forward
For my next few blog posts I’m going to share a few strategies I use to set goals with my clients for a fresh start. This is a taste of what we will cover during my upcoming goals retreat.
I’m a big fan of fresh starts and new beginnings. I realize there is nothing magical about the calendar change from December 31st to January 1st each year. But I do think it can allow us to reflect on how things are going in our lives.
Identifying goals for a new year can be a bit daunting, especially when you think about focusing holistically across all areas of your life. For many of my clients, career goals are a little easier to tackle because it is something we have a model for (hello, annual reviews!), and have a set structure and external accountability. However, often the things that will make the biggest difference in our overall life satisfaction lie outside of the annual review. But how do you even know where to start on evaluating what needs to change, and what you want for the future?
For example, maybe you know right now that relationships and social connection is an area of your life that isn’t where you’d like it to be. You feel disconnected from your partner, feel isolated from friends and social connections in your current phase of life, or wish you had a partner to share your life with. It can be scary to identify what you want to change, especially when it's an area where there isn’t exactly a “how to guide '' on how to quickly make and measure improvements. Because let’s face it, no one is going to sit you down and say, “Hey, Beth. It’s time for your annual relationship review. Let’s look at what went well and what areas you need to work on.”
If we do not know where we are, we can’t create a plan for where we are going. So before we jump into the details, plans, and goals themselves let’s slow down and start by looking at the year before.
I am notorious for having a bad memory, and the idea of sitting down and remembering what happened in the previous year isn’t a reality. So if you too need a bit of a refresher on your past year, think about the items and systems that you use throughout the year.
Here are some starting points:
Calendar/ Planner
Journal
Social Media Profiles
Photos on your phone
Email, or text messages
As you look back take note of three things:
Successes: What worked last year? What are you proud of?
Challenges: What parts of last year were challenging? What barriers got in your way?
Lessons Learned: What are some takeaways from your experiences?
Don’t overthink this! These things can be as small as finally setting that boundary of leaving work at a time where you can pick up your kids from school, or as big as finally taking that vacation you’ve dreamed about for years. Don’t let your internal judge creep in here and decide what is and isn’t worthy of being written down. Whatever your mind draws attention to is worthy of being included on your list.
In my next post we will apply these take-aways to help examine the different areas of your life holistically to help get a clearer picture on where you are and what needs your attention!
