Review all parts of your life (not just the serious stuff!)

For my next few blog posts, I will share strategies I use to set goals with my clients for a fresh start. This is a taste of what we will cover during my upcoming goals retreat in Raleigh, NC, on Sunday, January 28, 2024. 

Goal Setting Series: Part II

Last week, I wrote about how to reflect on the previous year and what tools you can use. If you haven’t read that post already, I suggest you start there, as it will help you reflect on what happened in the year before to help you with this next step.

Reflecting regularly on our overall fulfillment is helpful as we progress through life. This means looking at all areas of life, not just the ones that demand your attention or are easy to assess (hello, career goals!).  But with so many different aspects of our lives to consider, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. For example, some clients need help keeping track of their joy, play, and interests when urgent life responsibilities steal their focus. In this post, we'll dig into life holistically by exploring it from a broader perspective. 

After reviewing your strengths, challenges, and lessons learned in your last year, you have a big-picture idea of what happened and what got your attention. Now, let’s look at this a bit more strategically. 

Identify life categories that fit your unique identity.  Here is a list of categories I use as a starting point:  

• Career & Learning

• Finances

• Relationships & Connections (Romantic relationships, friendships, groups/ organizations, etc.)

• Community, Advocacy, and Service

• Family

• Health and wellness (physical, mental/ emotional, etc). 

• Personal growth and development

• Fun & Play (Hobbies, interests, etc.)

• Spirituality or religion

• Home and environments

Maybe some of these categories aren’t important to you, so exclude them! If you see something on this list and think, “That isn’t something that I want to prioritize in my life,” cross it off. Another challenge with these categories is that perhaps some are too broad or defined in ways that make reflecting hard. For example, some people struggle with the health and wellness category and prefer to separate it into physical wellness and mental wellness.  You have the power to change the structure. Remember, this is about capturing your life based on your identity, priorities, and lived experiences. 

Brainstorm your ideal vision for each area of your life. Dream about the life you’d like to live without all the limitations that currently stand in your way. This exercise will be a bit harder for my realists, but try to put aside the real-world mindset for a moment. For example, under finances, your statement could be “Having a foundation of financial security while being able to enjoy and afford my present lifestyle.” If this step is challenging for you and you get stuck in a cycle of analyzing, set a timer for 10 minutes to write a statement in each category. Remember, you can always rewrite, edit, or adjust what you put here. As a proud perfectionist, I can tell you the best vision statement is one that exists on paper.  

Return to Your 2023 Reflection. Revisit your strengths, challenges, and lessons learned. With those in mind, write down your progress in the past year towards achieving this vision. A simple list or a one-sentence summary is all you need—name where you are in the present moment from an honest and judgemental-free perspective. We can’t change the past, but we can learn from our experiences. Using our finances example, perhaps you include, “Changed jobs leading to a pay cut, accrued $3000 in credit card debt, paid off my car loan.” Or if this area didn’t get much attention, write that down and maybe reflect on what got in the way.

Rate your satisfaction with each of your life categories in the present moment. Give each category a rating from 1 to 10 on how satisfied you are with where you are in the present moment. Use your vision and your 2023 reflection to help you choose this rating. Keep in mind that this is unique to you and what you want. Perhaps you didn’t give your finances much attention last year, and you don’t want to give them attention this year. That is absolutely ok! Sometimes, I’ll rate something at a two out of ten, then write next to it, not a current priority in this season and move on. Remember, no one else has to see or agree with this list or evaluation. I know that dismissing finances is not a socially acceptable life choice. But remember, no one else has to read these reflections or agree with your perspective. The only person we are pleasing in the rating process is you! Also, be honest with yourself with your rating. It can be tempting to avoid those uncomfortable emotions by rating everything highly. But not being honest about how you feel about these areas will get in your way of addressing them and getting closer to your ideal vision. 

Now that you’ve reflected on your past year and identified your life categories, you are starting to understand what you want to focus on in 2024! Next week, we will set this aside temporarily and visualize the experiences, feelings, people, and things you want to fill your life. If you struggle with knowing what you want your goals to be or are feeling stuck, this is for you!